my new addiction

so yes i'm addicted to romance..but quickly climbing the charts is online Wheel-of-Fortune. its sad, but true. i love it. and i suck at it...love it anyway.
anyway...on to other topics. christmas break is coming up. i can not wait to see my family and spend some quality time with them. i love them so much and being away from them made me appreciate them more then ever. when i first got here, i was so lookin forward to break so i could see my friends - its strange how life changes things. i mean, theres a few i cant wait to see, but theres some i'd just as soon not see. and those are the ones i should want to see the most. it makes me angry, the circumstances we find ourselves in just dont seem fair, to anyone. we all seem to be hurting ourselves and eachother unnecissarily...so i think i'm goin to take it upon myself to stop it. (this means ending contact, it may be the only way)
being single again makes me think alot...think about what i want, what i look for, what i'm attracted too. these are things i havent had to think about for a long time. it seems to me that sometimes, in relationships, people get that comfort level and let themselves stop thinking about what they want. i like looking around - but idk if i'm ready to actually act on my looking
there arent really any guys here at school that i'm into...well, theres one. but hes completely unavailable so i'm just ignoring those feelings. there is one from closer back home tho...he just kinda came out of nowhere, but he's a great guy
still, its amazing how much i miss wayne sometimes. i heard somewhere that it takes half the time u were with someone to get over them. (obviosly its not that cut and dry, but its an interesting thought) by those terms it'll take me almost 2 years to get over wayne...i think he'll always have a place in my heart. he said that to me, and it made me cry. it makes things sound so permanently final. which i guess they are but still..