behind these brown eyes....

I told you everything
Opened up and let you in
You made me feel alright
For once in my life
Now all that's left of me
Is what I pretend to be
So together, but so broken up inside

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every time I turn around
I think I've got it all figured out
My heart keeps callin' and I keep on fallin'
Over and over again
The sad story always ends the same
Me standin' in the pourin' rain
It seems no matter what I do
It tears my heart in two

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanna love
I want a fire
To feel the burn
My desires
I wanna man by my side
Not a boy who runs and hides

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hate myself for losing you
What do you do when you look in the mirror
And staring at you is why he's not here?
What do you say when everything's said?
Is the reason why he left you in the end?
How do you cry when every tear you shed
Won't ever bring him back again?
I hate myself for loving you

you made a fool of me, tell my why

so, unfortunate experience today....the end result of which is me listening to u "you made a fool of me" and wallowing in self-pity.

long story short, my heart is still broken and i have not the slightest idea how to fix it.

i cant wait to get out of this miserable town

(everyone does this 'song of the moment thing'...and to keep the tradition alive, so shall i)

song of the moment : "sugar we're going down swingin" fall out boy .... one of my favorite songs ever. i can not get enough of it, i swear to u i just have it on repeat all day

You are Seth Cohen! Awwww you are like the cutest
ever!You are sweet and lovable definately one
of the best characters!


Which O.C. Character Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


and in honor of the result of this littel quizzlet...here are some of my fav quotes from the O.C (wow, i'm cool)


Yes. The more time I spend with Zach, the less time I have to think about - God, what's his face? Built like a beanpole, curly hair, runs away like a little bitch on a sailboat leaving nothing but a note for his girlfriend who cried and cried over him till the Fourth of July when she decided she doesn't cry over bitches on boats.
-Summer


How can she fall for you if you're not there to catch her?
-Alex

Once you've got what you want, that's when you've got something to lose, and what's scarier than that?
-Anna

Summer: What do you want from me Cohen?
Seth: I just want you.
(ok sorry, that one is purely sentimental...effin seth cohen.)

oh family guy...

Which Family Guy character are you?

i heart applebees

but mostly i heart orange chicken skillets...oh wait, their called bowls now. well whatever the name is, they rock my world. louis and i had a frate (my word for friend date) there today. and then we went to dairy queen. where you can now purchase MEGA-moo sized moolates. haha, i love advertising. but another good night with louis :) he and i decided that we have to quit having so much fun together...we need a really lousy night, or a fight or something. cause this is rediculous. haha

what else what else...oh i FINALLY talked to alyssa today! geezpers that girl just disappeared from my life for like, 40 years...okay it was like a week and a half. but still. i was worried okay alyssa? i was worried! you coulda called damnit.

i bought new lotion. i'm kind of a lotion addict. (the first step is admitting u have a problem.....) but its that 'nightly body renewal'. i'm pretty sure its a scam. skin has been renewing itself just fine by itself on millions of people for hundreds of years. but it smells good, and im a sucker for lotion. its a weakness. what can i say.

hmmm....oh this week is elementary day camp. i have a team of 1st and 2nd graders. horrible basketball happening there, h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e...but they're so cute and funny that i just cant care. adorable. thats all i have to say. OH cept that we like, lost a kid today! and her brother! oh there's a story here, let me start a new paragraph....

okay, so camp started at the betty (the new university gym) and we had to walk the 1st and 2nd graders to the hyslop (old gym). its like, 2 blocks. so neway, the kids parents know to pick them up at hyslop. but this one little girls mom cant come til later, so we were gonna walk that girl (and her older brother who was there for, idk moral support?) back to the betty. but the boy all of a sudden was like, 'my dads coming" and amy was like "well just wait, tell us before u leave so we know ur dad is here"....but the kids just disappeared! im sure his dad got them....but it was kinda scary.

i probably effed that story up. maybe u had to be there.

I-29

so last night we had a blockbuster runion :) so fun, good plan louie j!

the guest list included former (and present) blockbuster employees....louis, gerg, jenny, jordan, mike, and myself

and guests.....chris, bryce, and mitch

of course we met after louis's BB shift, so yeah around 1 am. at the truckstop. good times. we even created a fire hazard. thats right :)

jenny got a new kitty! he is gray an his name is stud, and i'm very jealous! i'll have to go visit him often.

*****************************************************

in other news, do u ever just have those days? just one of those days, idk. my screen name right now is 'i am what i am" (i suppose 'i am who i am' works too....) neway, its occuring to me that i'm not totally sure who/what i am. idk. lots of confusion goin thru this little head again.

i swear, just when i think i have everything figured out, life throws me another curveball and i'm second guessing myself and others again. eff

kids say the darndest things...

wow, sorry...i have not written in AGES. thats my bad, i take full blame
this will probably just be me quickly updating....

about the title....little kids are so cute lately. i mean, always, but i've noticed lately.

example A) mykaela, the little girl i babysit.
her and i were outside the other day, she was playing on her slip-n-side. her dad had just recently mowed the grass and hadnt bagged it, so little pieces of grass were stuck all over mykaela. neway, she was gettin a drink of water when i hear this little concerned voice go "jamie? um, is it okay if you swallow grass?" haha it was soo funny. so innocent. i was like "oh i think it'd be okay...did u swallow some?" "no...well idk, i just saw some in my cup"

example B) watchin old man (well, older neway) softball the other day and one of the guys had his son with. his dad hit the ball and the other team caught it, when he walked by to get his glove the little boy ran up to him and was like "dad? how come u hit it to the white team?" haha, everyone was laughing

lets see...what else is new. i'm just workin basketball camp and babysitting. camp is alot of work, long days....i totally respect poeple who work all day on their feet doing like, manual labor. i could never do it.

i guess thats about it for now. thats sad. during the day, i always find myself thinking "oh i could write that in my blog" but then i always forget. i'm not very interesting this summer. haha, oh well