i cant think of a clever title...

hmm...so. how do i feel today? tired...just tired in general. tired of williston, tired of school, tired of basketball, tired of boys...gosh am i tired of boys. why do i think that a boy will make me happy? if i would just pay attention to life experience, i'd notice that boys do not make me happy. (ok they have their moments) but more so *especially lately* they make me stressed, nervous, edgy, sad, dissapointed (usually in myself), frustrated, confused, sick...none of these are qualities i would like some to describe me as. ("oh yeah i know jamie...the nervous one. always on edge" haha) idk, i'm just tired of the boy scene. tired of thinking 'oh, finally!' just so i can go 'aw crap'. ya know?

yeah i dont even really know, so i dont expect you to know. i just want to feel INSPIRED again. when i was with wayne, i just felt so inspired...its dumb. but true. i just wanted to make him happy...thereby making myself happy. ugh, idk.

someone inspire me!

this post may be inspired (no pun intended) by my total lack of energy or just general 'funness' right now...combined with me being utterly weighed down with unforgiving biology homework (due to my lack of effort this weekend)

i'm also tired of being told how i should feel..what i should feel...what i should be doing or not doing. i just wanna BE for a little while...just let me be. idk what i want...i dont want to know what i want...just let me be. i really should have gone home this weekend (damn morti...ok i forgive u). home always helps me clear my head. my family (esp. Andra --my angel--) always puts things in perspective for me. she's the only one i want to talk to right now.

favorite song quote right now: "i find it so romantic when u look into my beautiful eyes and lose control" - who let u go, 'the killers'