well well well

soo...it recently came to my attention that i was unaware of the many people i know who read my little blog here. it had been my intention to keep it more of a private thing - which i know, sounds ridiculous considering its on the internet. but i guess i just assumed that if i didnt tell anyone then they'd never know. wrong...i was scared for people to read it...but now that they have, i'm glad. this is me, pretty much uncensored. take it or leave it. and if u dont like what i write about, dont read it and we're all happy :) for those of u who do read it, i am not trying to chase you away (promise)

so today was interesting. i got to come home this weekend (long story on why, not worth goin into detail about) i got to watch my dads game..they totally got reffed...so uncool. i cant talk about it, it angers me. i went and watched wrestling at my old high school with wayne (he wrestled in school) that was interesting...i love his company, i really do. its hard spending time with him. i thought it would make me feel better (i'm foolish) but it only succeeded in making me miss him more. but it also made me realize something. i love him, real love. and if being with her makes him happy, then thats what i want. i want him to be happy - and if that means i have to be miserable for awhile, then i guess i have to deal. so monday starts detox. my friends and i will put our heads together and figure out a way to flush him out of my system. and then someday, i can be his friend the way he deserves me to be his friend...w/o drama and tears and strings (or webs) of love. im excited to be his friend; it'll happen eventually. cause at this point -- he just isnt that into me --