headin back

Better keep yourself clean and bright: you are the window through which you must see the world

i just like that quote

anyway, i have to go back to school tomorrow at noon. i'm dreading it. i mean, i miss the girls from the team and i miss basketball -- i just dont know if i miss it enough to really want to go back. true, i have no choice. so i'm just gonna suck it up, pack, and finish the year. there will be time to think after that.
oh the other hand, it will be good to get away from the stress that is my life here. to understand this stress i suppose i'll have to summarize the circumstances i find myself in....here goes (bare with me - i feel like paraphrasing)


wayne and i met in 9th grade, went out on/off til about til about oct of this year. gentina and i have been best friends since 9th grade. she was by my side throught my and wayne's whole relationship. when wayne and i broke up, i was a mess. even tho gen lives super far away, i talked to her about it a few times and she said "i'm gonna do everything i can to get u back together" and then wayne went to see her and another group friend in iowa, and they hooked up. and now are 'sorta seeing eachother'. the whole thing breaks my heart and nauseates me beyond explanation.

so there it is....#1 on my stress list...which goes something like this

STRESS LIST
-wayne & gentina
-being away from my family and missing 'family stuff'..big sister stuff, daughter stuff
-basketball
-school

now i dont wanna be all depressing..so to counteract the stress list, i give you the list of things that make me happy...

HAPPY LIST
-my family
-my faith
-my meow; ryanzie (get better babe)....ok the woof too (garnett)
-the hope that someday i will grow in love and have a family of my own