i know that you hope for longer goodbyes

i did it...i think. i said good bye to wayne. i tried to anyway. i wrote him a card/letter and some other things that i wanted him to read. and i said that i miss him with all i am, but its the last time i'm going to tell him.

i just cant do it anymore. i convinced myself i was holding on to a love i didnt believe could die; i felt that if i let go, then i was giving up on love. but thats not true...i'm holding on to a love that isnt there. wayne doesnt love me anymore. and no matter how hard or true i love him, it wont change his heart.

the hardest part of this is knowing that he's not going to stop me from saying goodbye.

Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love. -- George Eliot

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything. It's the time we spent together that matters, not how we left it. -- Trey and Matt Stone Parker

(added on at 8:34..wow thats exactly 2 hrs later isnt it)
okay i stated that i said goodbye..but i feel i should add that this doesnt mean i'm moving on to being totally over it. that'll take a little while longer...it'll be good for me to be alone for awhile and really find ME